hungry

i'm

no?

yes?

dinner anyone?

boring

...

i've never like to share my personal life with my family members.
why?

it's not because i don't have a happy family,
i have a perfect family. not much of serious issues going on in between.
my dad don't smoke/gamble. everyone has an upright job.
they don't throw temper at you by beating you up.

as for financial wise, we may not be rich, but you don't see us fighting/arguing over assets or money.

it's just something to do with my attitude/character.


my dad's willing to do anything for us, be it sending us to work when we're late despite him not getting enough sleep and still have to work later part in the day.
fearing that we may starve.

just that his temper isn't that good. and he can't handle situations that well cause of his short-tempered-ness.


my mum is over-concerned about me. as im full of illness since young. but cause she's concerned over the most trival matter/action that i show daily, a fear grows in me. which is not letting her know regardless of what happen to me.
it's not because i don't respect her, but the fear for her worries.

my sisters and brother are nice to me as well.
same thing, temper.
i'm not saying my temper is good. equally bad i guess. but at least its my own temper that im facing, not others.


i've been spoon-fed too much.

i really don't want ppl to worry for my own stuffs. if i tell them they'll be questioning me all the time.
which is why i'm always keeping things to myself.

i'm not some1 who's good in handling situations, but i can't possibly turn to my friends all the time. be it your bestfriend, someday they'll get sick of your complaints.

afterall at the end of the day, it's still up to us to make the decision.
besides, i'm already 21. old enough to handle my own problems.

be it a wrong decision, i'd rather face the music and learn it the hard way.


the reason why i decided to change my url, is cause my sisters reads my blog.
and to my dearest cousin, i trust u enough hor.

like always,
the simplest gesture can make you realise things you never did.

perhaps i shouldn't be even bothered by someone who don't even bother.
and please don't pretend that you actually cares.
sorry but i don't deserve it.

i hate it when people say 1 thing and does another.

=/

im bored to death.

zzzzz

those were the days.

i wish i could go back to poly life.

though it has been for years,
to my amaze, she's still the one who motivated me.

and even though we don't even talk now.
when we're still good friends months back.

it's only a second of flashbacks.

日久见人心

but we often receive the verdict from people even before we were given the time to know each other better.

a place with nobody but me.

away from the complications.

and im super full now.
feeling damn uneasy.
sian

can i get a mc for that?

i want to change.
to be someone better than who i am now.

learning to look at things positively,
learning to change my attitude,
learning to be more hardworking.

too used to night life.

i really don't like the way i'm being treated like a kid when i'm at home just because i'm the youngest in the family.

i'm already 21. it's about time i bear all the responsibilty myself for the things i've done.

i will not let games affect my life anymore.

this is a pact to myself.

perhaps tk was right.
i just lack of motivation to the things i do.

both uni's rejection letter came. =/
what a morale booster.

sometimes i seriously wonder what am i good at.
super bad temper
character wise also sucks
result also cmi

not even a single achievement at this age.
still stucked in ns not being able to do anything.

what am i even living for?

i see no future in me at all.

no it ain't anybody's fault.
i have only myself to blame.

whenever people make a negative comment on foreigners like china people or any others, we all agrees without a 2nd word.

but when it comes to singaporean, how many of us will agree?
whenever a negative comment is made, be it the smallest one, they kick a big fuss out of it.

yeap singapore is 1 of the safest country to live in as compared to the other chaotic countries.
we can just walk on the streets without having to worry about the safety of our loved ones.
we should be lucky that we're born here.

but the people..
i dont feel like elaborating already. lazy. haha

just my 2cents.

i hate this kind of on and off feeling.

its something which nobody understands.

a little debate going on.

struggling to break free. wish me luck.

finally. the rejection letter came.

after 6months of running around outside, they finally decided to bring us back to cage.

random.

bored.

go sleep lo. nights

and i'm going to be super poor this month again.

it's only paper cut deep.

true enough, soon enough.

=/

1 more day till payday!
haha

there's a hokkien saying:
wu zho bo zho dan zhap ho~

zzz screw the weather

SAF isnt a bad place actually. its the people.

we did our best in everything we were asked to do,
even things which isnt even within our job scope,
staying back waiting for the regulars to finish with their stuffs till as late as 7,
and them leaving 1st sometimes whereas we have to stay to lock up the place for them.

we didnt even complain.

but getting told off for the most trival thing such as going lunch at wrong timing,
instead of going from 12-1, we went from 1230-130.

seriously.

wishing that we dont have to help them, we cant.
this is the only thing which can be found in SAF =/

more good years ahead.

humans are never satisfied.
they will never be.
=/


and i actually sprained my back while cooling down.
cant even bend now. -.-

im okay with being just a friend.
but if you're trying to feign, i'm sorry but it won't work for someone who has already seen through you.

5 more days till payday!
i seriously wonder where all my money went for the last 2 months.
0 savings! -.-

i just realised both my legs has got more than 5 blue-blacks.
..

had fun feeding the mosquitoes.